Jars of Clay: Drummer Boy

Video Games Evil?

Q: I would like to know if it's okay to play a video game that has wizards in it. A person gets powers, etc. for getting certain objects. The game is mostly action and a person mostly wouldn’t know this unless they read the theme of the game. This might seem like a silly question, but I was wondering.

A: The main problem with this is that the Church teaches that magic, sorcery, and related superstitions are wrong. On the surface, this doesn’t make it wrong to play a video game involving wizards. However, you have to be very careful not to let such games influence you in the wrong way. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches, “Users should practice moderation and discipline in their approach to the mass media. They will want to form enlightened and correct consciences the more easily to resist unwholesome influences.” (CCC, 2496) Basically, that means that if you’re frequently exposed to what might be a bad influence, you might be less inclined to think it wrong if it came up in real life.

So while there’s nothing directly sinful about playing this sort of game by itself, it is a good idea to find another one.

Michael

Preaching in Public School

Q: The Bible says that we should go out and spread the word of Jesus. But I go to public school and it is against the law to talk about Jesus in school. That isn’t freedom of religion. What do I do?

A: It is not against the law to spread the word of Jesus, however, tact is needed. You don’t need to broadcast it throughout the school, or make a television announcement about it. The easiest ways to spread the Word of God is by dropping small hints during conversation and by your own moral example. Sometimes it’s best to evangelize by just letting others watch how you act and have them realize what they’re missing. Forcing religion and God onto others often makes them turn away. You have to be kind, welcoming, and supportive. You have to make them interested; you have to show them how great it is to know God. As St. Francis said, “Preach the Gospel always and when necessary use words.”

Jenna

Catholics, the Elect, and Predestination

Q: Would you please explain what the Catholic Church teaches about the Elect? I had a priest explain to me that the Church teaches predestination while Calvinistic Protestantism teaches double predestination. I’m confused. If God chooses before all time who is to be saved, where does free will come into play? It would seem fruitless to apply any effort into trying to live the Christian life if you are predestined to hell. No matter what, you’re out of luck. There is a biblical passage that basically says that none of the chosen will be snatched from God. This problem has been bothering me for some time now.

A: First let’s lay down some definitions:
Predestination: The doctrine that God specifically chose some to be saved before the creation of the world. Yet, God predestines no one to go to hell.

Double Predestination: The belief that God specifically chose some to spend their eternity in hell before the foundation of the world.

Predestination is a Catholic doctrine that has a solid base in Scripture, including the passage that you point out in your question, “and I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them out of my hand.” (Jn. 10:28) Other Scripture on this topic includes, Romans 8:29-30, Matthew 25:34, John 10:27, Acts 13:48, and Ephesians 1:4.

Our Sunday Visitor’s Catholic Encyclopedia states, “Predestination affirms that, as part of the eternal plan of divine providence, God has predetermined certain persons to eternal bliss.” The Blessed Mother is an example of someone who is predestined for heaven. Those of us who are not predestined to heaven, must choose heaven through our own free will.

However, there are forms of predestination that the Church completely rejects, including double predestination as taught by John Calvin. To believe in double predestination would in effect mean believing that we have no free will, and that we have no purpose in life. As you pointed out, there would be no point in avoiding sin, or even in living, because it has already been determined where we will spend eternity.

Whether we go to heaven or hell is our choice. We can either live a good Christian lifestyle and have a loving intimate relationship with God, or we can live our lives in sin. All we need to do is repent our sins and beg for forgiveness. Of course, that’s not to say that we can just live in sin, and then be sorry for them when we die. Striving for God’s goodness and rebuking evil will make it literally a million times easier for us, and those around us, to reach heaven.

Christian

Why is Catholic Church Against Gay Marriage

Q: Why is the Catholic Church against gay marriage? I should have the freedom to marry whomever I want.

A: It’s evident that God created male and female to be joined together from the beginning of time. I think you should ask yourself this question: “If God intended for two females to be married (or two males) then why can’t they have children?” The Catholic Church has always recognized that marriage is between a man and a woman. Until recently all Christian churches and governments recognized this truth too.

Although we should be compassionate to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters in Christ, we cannot accept or support their choice of sexual lifestyle. Nor should we have to compromise our moral values to allow them to legally marry, or for it to be recognized by the Church.

Ashley

Chastity Rome -- Chick Blues: Dawn Eden

Wait for Me: Rebecca St. James

Selling My Soul to the Devil

Q: My mother is sick with cancer and I was having a bad day myself with a lot of problems going on and I said that if my problems would go away and my mother would get better that I would give the devil my soul. Is it really possible that I gave the devil my soul? If I did, is there anything I could do to get it back?

A: The devil tries to distract us, to con us, tempt us, and trick us from getting into heaven. Some people choose to ignore God’s call, while others choose to follow. Some people choose to follow a path of darkness. In this case, I don’t think you gave your soul to the devil; your soul belongs to God. We do not have the authority over our souls to place them into heaven or hell. We have the way we carry out our lives to show where we would like to end up, but the ultimate judgment lies with God alone.

Jesus Christ was crucified. He died, and rose from the dead to conquer all of our sins. If you think you have done something wrong (anything) you have the opportunity to repent through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. One of the most beautiful things with God is that no matter how badly we mess up, if we are truly sorry in our hearts and ask for forgiveness, God will grant it.

Alex

Jesus and Mary Magdalene Married

Q: Was Mary Magdalene like Jesus’ girlfriend? There was a movie that showed Mary having Jesus’ children.

A: No, that is definitely a misunderstanding. Mary Magdalene was not Jesus’ girlfriend by any means. They were just close friends. Movies may try to portray them this way to make it more interesting, or they may do it in an attempt to corrupt the story. They are false for doing this. Refer to the Bible and what you have been taught through Tradition, not movies or Hollywood.

Jenna

Pentecostals, Hair, Makeup, Jewelry, and Dresses

Q: I have a Pentecostal friend who says that women shouldn’t cut their hair, wear make-up, or wear jewelry, and that they should only wear dresses because of something in the Old Testament. Is that true?

A: This is not a teaching of the Catholic Church. Some denominations see things differently. Even though God and his teachings do not change, many things like this have to do with the Old Testament Jewish culture and customs. Culture and custom do change.

There is also the consideration of biblical translation. For example, Deuteronomy 22:5 reads, “A woman shall not wear anything that which pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.” Now, this passage doesn’t clearly prohibit pants on women, even though some Christian denominations say that it does. We need to also take into consideration the cultural time. The Hebrews wore a long, sleeved garment similar to a nightshirt. Pants didn’t appear for many centuries after Deuteronomy was written.

Tom

Roman Catholics

Q: Are all Catholics Roman Catholics?

A: Yes and no. The phrase “Roman Catholic” can mean two things. Usually, it means a church that acknowledges the Pope as the leader of the Catholic Church on earth. A true Catholic Church is in union with the Pope in Rome – that’s where “Roman Catholic” comes from. Because of this, churches that have split off from the Vatican aren’t truly Catholic churches.

However, it can also refer to the liturgy the church uses in the Mass. In this sense, Roman Catholic means a church that celebrates the Mass with the Latin Rite liturgy. Some Catholic churches use different liturgies like the Byzantine, Coptic, or Chaldean liturgies. (Just to name a few.)

This means that they celebrate the Mass differently than you’re probably used to. In most other rites, they don't call it “the Mass.” They call it “the liturgy” or “qurbana” or something else, depending on the traditional language. The ritual has all the same essential elements as the Mass – Bible readings, Eucharistic prayer, and Holy Communion – but the prayers will often use different words (and sometimes different languages). In some Eastern Rites, the priest offers the entire Eucharistic prayer behind closed doors. In still other rites, the liturgy includes a lot more Bible readings than you'll find in the average Latin Rite Mass.

These churches may call themselves “Byzantine Catholics” or something else instead of “Roman Catholics” but as long as they look to the Pope for authority, that’s okay.

Basically, a true Roman Catholic Church is a church that acknowledges the Pope as the visible leader of the Catholic Church on earth and obeys what he says. Some Catholic churches that have different ways of saying Mass call themselves something different than “Roman Catholic,” but that’s all okay as long as they’re “Roman Catholic” in that they’re in union with Rome.

Michael

Choosing and Paying for College

Today, we're taking a little break from the usual Q&A to bring you a special announcement.

If you're starting to think about college then you'll want to check out Catholic Colleges Month. It's hosted by Homeschool Connections but is open to everyone, teens and parents, who want to know more about choosing and paying for college.

This is a series of free webinars on college topics from How to Pay for College Without Breaking the Bank to meet & greets with several great Catholic colleges and more.

Dealing With My Parent's Divorce

Q: My parents are getting a divorce, and everything they do feels like a choice between the two of them. I know they both caused this, but everything just feels so wrong. I am really scared that they might not get an annulment. What should I do? I don't want my parents to be divorced, but I especially don't want them to be divorced and their marriage not annulled. Our family is breaking, and I can't hear what God wants for my family. Please tell me how I might be able to talk to God during this time of turmoil.

A: As children of God, it is usually best if we approach Him just as that, a child. God is all loving, all just, and all merciful; He will listen to your prayers, and though He may not do precisely what you ask for, He knows that what you are really praying for is the best possible outcome in such circumstances as the ones you are in. If we come before Him humbly and wanting to accept His will, we can pray sincerely.

Tell God of what you are feeling and of what you want for yourself and your parents. He will listen to you; you are His child.

I’ve often had periods where I can’t feel God’s presence or hear what His will is; I’m sure everyone has experienced something similar at one point or another in their lives. This isn’t a bad thing, though! In fact, it is a blessing, as Jesus tells us in John 20:29:

Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

Also, I would strongly recommend praying to the following saints and asking them to offer their own prayers for your family, especially your parents. St. John Francis Regis, the patron saint of marriage, St. Gengulf, the patron saint of unhappy marriages, and St. Monica, the patron saint of married women. All of these wonderful saints will be more than willing to help you and your family. The Holy Family would also be happy to pray for you; all you have to do is ask. Mary and Joseph were the holiest married couple.

If you can, I’d recommend talking to a priest – your pastor, maybe, or another priest whom you trust – and ask for his advice on the matter. Priests are here to help guide us, so I would strongly encourage you to take advantage of that. He could tell you more about the possibilities of an annulment and the process as well, along with giving you spiritual help.

I wish you and your family the best and you'll be in my prayers. God bless!

~ Rain

Twilight and Catholic Girls

Today's question comes not from a fellow teen but a youth minister.

Q: I have several teens addicted to the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyers and I noticed some behavioral changes away from modesty and purity attitudes. First, I asked them to help me understand the allure of the books and the response I received was that they liked how Edward was so protective of Bella and that they were chaste until marriage. Another response I received was that the eroticism was consensual but they didn’t take it all the way so it was a lesson in self-restraint. This prompted me to do more research on the subject and to learn what I could without actually reading the books. I fear the eroticism will lead me to a near occasion of sin so I don't wish to read them myself. I am a youth minister and I fear these kids are being lead into a false sense of love and relationships through these books. Since I have recently seen pictures of one of my girls on Facebook with her name inserted into the erotic passages of the books she is reading, I have become more concerned. Do you have any suggestions?

A:

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him—and I didn’t know how potent that part might be—that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

-- Bella Swan: Twilight

Being a 16-year-old girl, I myself have read the Twilight Saga: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. This saga has gotten so popular; it’s to the point that if you’re a girl and haven’t read them, people wonder where you’ve been. And, I must confess, that’s one of the only reasons I continued to read the following installments after the first book—so that I wouldn’t be left out when I heard my friends talking about Edward Cullen (vampire), Bella Swan (human), and Jacob Black (werewolf), the love triangle in the Saga.

I did enjoy reading these books, though, I must say. The plot of the story— “good” vampire boy meets shy, awkward human girl—is very intriguing, and I’ve always loved vampire stories, like Dracula and The Historian. There are also a few redeeming qualities in the Saga. Stephenie Meyer, being a Mormon, did put a lot of moralistic points of view into the books, such as: saving sex till marriage, a pro-life message concerning the unborn (yes, in a saga about vampires!), and Edward’s loathing of being a monster. (In the book, Edward and his family want to be, in a sense, saved from damnation by drinking only the blood of animals, hoping that will win them salvation.)

But while reading these books, it was also very clear to me that Bella and Edward’s relationship was unnatural and unrealistic, and I must say, abusive at times. Basically, Bella is obsessive, and Edward is possessive (which, unfortunately, most girls translate into “protective”). Bella’s always raving over Edward’s body and how he’s like a “god”; Edward’s drawn to Bella’s seductive scent and her blood, and watches her every move, even to the point of watching her in her sleep. Sounds like the common, abusive relationships we have today, minus the vampire aspect, doesn’t it?

In the end, Bella’s obsession with Edward starts to look appealing over a healthy, normal relationship, and it’s a struggle to keep your mind and heart clear. That being said, I’m not surprised that Christian girls are being lead astray by these books. If I hadn’t already been enlightened by the beauty of chastity and God’s amazing role for sex and hadn’t already taken them to heart, it definitely would’ve been even harder for me to keep my focus after reading these books. (It’s hard enough in today’s culture, without reading books like Twilight!)

My advice to you would to have some sort of youth group discussion on Twilight vs. Real Love for girls (unless some guys have the guts to come, too). I’m pretty sure that all the girls would come to that (most obsessed ones take any chance to talk about Edward!). In this discussion, get their thoughts on Twilight again, why they think it’s so good, and if they would want to have a boyfriend like Edward and why. If they give their reasons, then ask how that compares to a godly relationship. Then read Corinthians 13: 4-7, and then replace ‘love’ with Edward, then with Bella. Does Edward fit? Does Bella fit? Finally, replace Jesus’ name and ask them how Edward and Bella’s relationship compares to Jesus’ love for us—the love we should be imitating in our own relationships. Get them thinking. If that part of the discussion goes well, then ask them what the faults of Twilight are. Hopefully they will realize some of them and point them out; then give your thoughts on how that contrasts with real chastity and love. Hopefully then they’ll come to realize their error in thinking, if they hadn’t already realized it.

God bless!
Catherine

Sixteen: Keep My Baby or Give Up for Adoption

Q: My best friend is 16 and about 5 months pregnant. Before, she had her mind set on adoption, but now she wants to keep it. I am strongly against this because I believe it is going to ruin her life as she knows it as well as her future. I know that she needs a lot of support and someone to be there and listen to her, but I don't think I could bare to allow her to keep it. Should I intervene? And if so, how should I do it?

A: As I write this, my four year old sister and three year old brother are getting time-outs for being bad (this time it was a small fight over a toy). They are both adopted, and we have what's called "open adoptions" which means we keep in touch with their birth families (send pictures, even visit sometimes), they both come from different mothers in different cities, but in our state. Before we adopted Rose, my sister, we had a baby boy named Adam for three weeks, and then his birth mother changed her mind and we had to give him back. That was the most heart-breaking thing that I've ever been through, and probably will ever go through.

I realize this probably doesn't mean much to you, but I should tell you right now, there is no way anyone can really know what would be best for your friend and the little child inside of her. Anyone but God, that is. But I urge you to try to see both sides, especially from her point of view. This is going to be maybe the single hardest decision she will ever have to make, and she'll have to live with it for the rest of her life, whether she keeps the baby or decides to adopt.

From the adoption side, I look at my little brother and sister and can't even imagine life without them. They are the most wonderful things that have ever happened to me, even if they get on my nerves sometimes.

But from the mother's side, I look back on those three weeks my family had with Adam, and I wonder: If letting a child you love THAT much go after just three weeks is as hard as it was for me, then how hard must it be after nine months?

I can't tell you that it would be better for the mother to keep the child just as I can't tell you that giving the baby up for adoption would be any better. I don't know what kind of situation your friend is in or if it's a good environment to raise a child in or not. But I can tell you that that baby, that tiny little child, is a miracle, though it may not seem like it.

You say you're worried about your friend's life and your friend's future, but there's another person to add to the equation. We should respect and consider that life as well. I'm sure your friend was well aware that her decision to have sex could possibly result in a child, and in making that decision, she chose to take on the responsibly of her actions. Although, to be fair, there are many teenage mothers out there who have graduated high school, probably even some that have gotten through college. It all depends on how committed the mother is to a good life for both her and her child. It also matters that there are people around(family, the father, close friends) who will help her emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially as well.

What kind of goals does your friend have for her life, her future career, and possible future family? Are her parents supportive of her through this pregnancy? Where is the baby's father in all this? Can she handle the responsibility of someone twice her age? These are some very serious questions that you can ask yourself and her. The answers factor a lot in if it would be wise for her to keep the baby.

So I suppose your answer in a nutshell is this: You can try and explain these things to her and hope and pray she will make the best decision for herself and the child. But the fact remains, this child was made by God for a specific reason, and God's plan beats all in the end.

I hope you have found this helpful, please pass my congratulations on to your friend for her holy gift. My prayers are with you all.

Peace,
Martha